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Poor Telephone
Ethics
Editorial - Oliver Mbamara
In
the twenty-first century world, when telecommunication has become even
more advanced, telephone conversation is fast becoming the most
significant means of communication between friends, relatives,
vocational/business partners and clientele especially where distance is in
issue. These days, multi-million dollar deals and transactions begin or
end with telephone conversation. Physical presence and appearances are now
being downplayed. The world is now tightly knit by modern day technology
dominated by sophisticated communication and entertainment gadgets. It is
the trend and to deal successfully with the rest of the world, one’s
ethics in telecommunication has to be refined.
An African saying goes thus: “New music is danced with new footsteps.”
We cannot continue to use the excuse that we are third-world countries to
excuse our poor ethics in matters like phone conversations. These days,
inhabitants of third -world countries boast of the use of mobile phones as
much as those in advanced countries. Regardless of residence, one could
communicate to any person anywhere on earth, even including Space. The
fact is simple; we have to improve our phone ethics and by “we” I mean
from the ordinary citizen to the topmost government official.
PREJUDICIAL RESPONSES
Recently, while we were running a new film (THIS AMERICA) at the Tribeca
Cinemas in New York, an African called to order some tickets for the show.
Conversation revealed that the caller stays in one of the popular African
market Joints in New York City. Incidentally, I was going to the same
place for some business. I asked to speak with the caller and get his
location. He gladly gave his address and said he was expecting me. On my
way, I decided to give him a call just to confirm our arrangement. Then I
had it. The person who picked the phone was yelling questions into the
receiver. And each time I tried to answer one question he would interrupt
me and ask another one. “Eh! …Who…who are you…? …Who did you say
you are! …Who are you calling for? …For what? Eventually, he hung up
on me, on top of it all.
Of course, I continued on my business without bothering to take the
tickets to him again. I was only bringing him a ticket, but it could have
been something very important. Maybe it was not the same person I spoke
with who hung up the phone on me, but does it matter? The phone ethics or
attitude of that one person gives an unfavorable impression about the
business or home that was called. An African saying goes thus: “when one
finger gets soiled with oil, it will soil (or transfer) to the other
remaining fingers.”
SECURITY SHIELD AND OTHER REASONS FOR POOR TELEPHONE ETHICS
Perhaps we yell and question callers to our homes or businesses because of
simple reasons such as the fact that such callers are not physically
present or we are busy with something when the person called. Perhaps, it
is because we are insecure or suspicious that the caller might be after
our spouse, child, relative, etc, or it could just be a natural instinct
to put up our security shields when the caller’s voice is not familiar.
Actually, such reasons should encourage us to be more cordial when
responding to phone calls. Being cordial would allow us UNDERSTAND the
reason for the call so we can react appropriately. So, rather than suspect
every caller and therefore come off rudely, we ought to be more friendly,
except of course, if the caller becomes a nuisance in which case we could
adopt some preventive or protective measures. Even at that, yelling or
quarrelling with the caller would not solve the cause of our anxiety,
jealousy, suspicion, or prejudice.
Even if the caller is rude or it happens to be an unwanted call, we could
help the situation by being cordial in the first instance. A telemarketer
(a person soliciting business through the phone) once called my cellular
phone. I answered it like any other call. As the telemarketer began to
pitch her sale to me, she heard the sound of background traffic on my end.
“Sir, are you on a cellular phone?” she asked. “Yes,” I answered.
“Oh! I am sorry sir!” the telemarketer replied and hung up. The call
lasted about 20 seconds. Obviously, she struck off my number from her
list. So, by tolerating the call for 20 seconds, and trying to understand
why the caller was calling me, I succeeded in ridding my self of one
telemarketer in 20 seconds without any hassle. This may not be the case
always. I have had telemarketers hang up on me even when I was patient to
take their call in the first place. Most telemarketers are indeed less
patient and will hardly tolerate the trouble they put others through with
their uninvited call. Once you start asking questions like “how did you
get my number?” they become inpatient and if you insist on an answer
before you answer any question, some of them would hang up on you rather
rudely, but they also lose you as a customer. I have experienced that many
times with telemarketers calling from several parts of the United States.
Note; these telemarketers are not Africans.
USING THE AFRICAN EXAMPLE:
It must be pointed out that the scenario cited earlier above about the
African caller is not an example of the general ethics of Africans over
the phone. Most Africans are very cordial and diplomatic over the phone,
but the pattern exemplified above can be noticed in quiet a significant
number of cases and in various ways. The issue is not only peculiar to
Africans as could be noted from the telemarketer’s example given above.
Addressing the issue generally might be too broad and actually make this
piece lengthier than allowable. At this time, this piece chooses to
address the African perspective and hopefully we could find helpful
suggestions for improvement.
ACCENT, DIALECTS, and FIRST IMPRESSION
Many Africans (including yours sincerely) were born and raised in Africa
with enthusiastic manners of communication and some of these dialects are
culturally vociferous/forceful in expression. It is therefore natural that
we sometimes come off as being vociferous or aggressive in our manners of
speech. We should not be blamed or condemned for it. It would amount to
discrimination to be treated differently because of one’s accent or
enthusiastic manner of speech. Even the Westerner does have an accent when
he tries to speak any African language/dialect. Tolerance and patience is
encouraged on both ends. However, we ought to be more conscious of the
fact that the person on the other end of the line may not be familiar with
our manner of speech. Also, since the person may not have seen us
physically before, our voice/speech gives the first impression about us,
and there is no second chance to give a first impression.
THE TEST OF PRANK CALLS
Sometimes we receive prank calls from friends or relatives who want to
pull our legs by pretending to be someone else. That is an opportunity to
test our phone ethics. Sometimes, some of us hang up on such friends or
relatives simply because we do not know the pretended callers, and when
such caller reveals his or her identity, we then note our embarrassment at
our impatience or rudeness. Even if one wants to hang up the phone on a
phone prankster or unwanted call, it is perhaps advisable to make a
cordial attempt (at least, once) to end the conversation before hanging up
abruptly or rudely. That way, if the call turns out to be an important
call, we give ourselves the opportunity of going through it and if it
turns out to be an unwanted call we would have given the caller some
reasonable opportunity to come clean.
Every now and then, I get phone calls from people who block their numbers,
and every now and then I dare them by going ahead to pick the phone. In
some cases, such callers would keep quiet for a while and then hang up.
Well, if someone has the time to pick up a phone and make a call but does
not have the gut to speak up, what do I do? Worry about it? No. Perhaps,
the caller does need some sympathy. One of the most sensible thing would
be to put back the receiver and let it go except if it becomes repetitive
and therefore a nuisance in which case it will be treated as such. In many
developed countries like the United States, the authorities have measures
in place to deal with prank or unwanted calls. It would be wise to contact
the appropriate authorities if one needs help in dealing with the
situation.
HANGING UP and LOOSING A CHANCE
Recently, a filmmaker wanted a popular Nigerian actor for a big role in
his film. My partner placed a call to Africa to contact one of the popular
actors in the country for the role. When the call went through, the actor
let it all out without finding out who was calling or the reason for the
call. “Who gave you this number?” he queried before digesting the name
of the caller. “Don’t call this number again,” he warned before
hanging up. Well, my partner swore never to call the said actor for any
other role another time. Suffice to say that my partner went ahead to
contact another good actor for the role. Now, whose loss is it? Just,
because of poor telephone ethics.
As I was about to send this piece out for publication, I took a break to
return a call from someone who had called to inquire about our new film
– THIS AMERICA. Someone, probably the person who called (the voice
sounded alike) answered the phone and told me I was calling the wrong
number. He did not have the patience to let me finish my explanation that
I was only returning a call. When he cut me off with the statement that I
was “calling the wrong number,” I tried to repeat the number to
confirm if it was his number, but…click! He hung up on me. Oh boy. Well,
I am not sure we need such a customer. I struck off his number from my
message list and he lost the chance to get the help for which he had
called.
This piece will not be able to highlight all the examples that abound of
our poor telephone ethics; many of us know the areas we have to work on
and improve upon. We need not give those who know little about us, the
opportunity of dismissing us as impatient, rude, immature, unruly,
arrogant, etc.
This is only my perspective. I am also working on my telephone ethics.
©Oliver O. Mbamara,
2005
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Oliver Mbamara is an Administrative Law Judge with the State of New York.
He is also a filmmaker and a Published Poet and playwright. For more on Oliver, please visit
www.olivermbamara.com
For background/research reference on this
piece, click on this link
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